


It’s no secret at all

by mrs_leary (julie)



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 18:39:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18675271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/mrs_leary
Summary: Bradley has been wanting to know something in particular about Colin for years ...





	It’s no secret at all

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the **Merlin RPF Promptacular Fest of 2019** , in an oblique fill of my own prompt.
> 
> Title borrowed (as ever) from a U2 lyric.

# It’s no secret at all 

♦

♦

“There’s something I need to ask you,” said Bradley after their third drink. He’d thought he’d have to be into at least his fourth or fifth drink before he was brave enough, but he was too impatient to wait any longer. 

Colin didn’t even blink. “What’s that, then?” 

Bradley’s nerve wavered a bit. “I asked you once before, but you just … and this is an unfortunate choice of phrase, now I think about it. You just blew me off.”

Colin promptly turned wary, and sat back in his seat. The noise of the pub rose around them, isolating them at their little round table. Bradley stayed where he was, leaning forward with his arms folded. Not backing down. 

Eventually Colin prompted, “Go on, then.”

His tone was about as encouraging as his body language, which was to say not at all, but Bradley had figured there’d be resistance. Maybe even active hostility. “I need to know,” Bradley said, knowing Colin would be able to read his self-consciousness and embarrassment, but keeping his gaze fastened on Colin’s regardless. “I need to know if you’re gay.” 

Bradley took a breath – and when Colin continued sitting there staring stonily at him, Bradley started babbling. “Not fully – I mean, I know you’ve been with women, had girlfriends, whatever. But partially at least. I guess I’m asking if you’re bisexual. Or at least a bit gay?” He swallowed, and finished weakly, “You know?”

Silence for what seemed like a few very long minutes. Minutes that felt more like hours.

Then Colin’s mouth twisted as if he’d just bit into a lemon, and he said, “Why’re you askin’?”

“Because …” Bradley sighed, and sat back a little. Gestured helplessly, wondering where to start. “Because I saw _The Happy Prince_ –”

“It’s called _acting_ , Bradley.”

“Yes, and you were magnificent. Truly magnificent. But it’s not that.”

Colin rolled his eyes impatiently. “What, then?”

“It’s …” Bradley sighed again. “Well, it’s that you weren’t exactly an obvious choice for the role, were you? A dark-haired Irishman, playing a blond English lord.”

“So?”

“So, I was curious. About why Rupert Everett – an openly gay man – chose you as his Bosie.”

Colin shrugged irritably, and looked away for a long moment. When he looked back again, his jaw was set as if there were words that could be said, lots and lots of words, but Colin was locking them all up inside. 

“And _then_ ,” Bradley continued with more determination than sense, “Simon Amstell – an openly gay man – casts you as his alter ego in _Benjamin_.”

“Seen that, too, have you?” Colin asked belligerently. 

“ _Hell_ , yes,” Bradley confirmed. “Twice!”

Colin’s mouth worked for a moment, as if he were chewing over a number of possible responses. Eventually he asked again, “ _Why?_ Why’re you askin’? Again. And now! You have t’ know –”

Bradley waited, but it seemed Colin couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence. He was still sitting there, though. There was that. He hadn’t stormed off or otherwise called an end to their evening together. Colin was still sitting there, though part of him was seething with annoyance and frustration. 

Eventually Bradley said, in tones as reasonable as he could make them, “It made me wonder if they’re seeing something in you that I’m seeing, too. That’s all.”

“That’s all?” Colin echoed in disbelief.

“And it made me wonder … is it real?”

Now Colin pushed his chair back as if finally about to get up and walk out. But then he suddenly leaned in close, pushing his face right into Bradley’s space, and he gritted out, “You know Rupert Everett regrets coming out, right? _Bitterly_ regrets it. You know he thinks it’s hurt his career?”

Bradley had to scramble to catch up, which to be honest wasn’t exactly a new sensation around Colin Morgan. “What? No … I mean, I’m not asking you to come out or anything. I’m just asking …”

“You’re asking me to come out to _you_ , aren’t you?”

Bradley leaned closer again, for the sake of talking confidentially. Not that anyone was paying them the slightest attention, nor was it likely they’d be heard over the pub’s general clamour even if they shouted. “Well,” said Bradley, “yes. OK, I guess so. Yes. But just to me. It’s not like I’m drafting a press release or anything.”

“Coming out’s not just one big thing, though, is it?” Colin argued. “It’s step by step, little by little. Person by person. And the more who know, the more who are gonna know.”

Bradley protested, “I wouldn’t tell anyone!”

Colin cast him a look full of misgivings. “What the _hell_ d’you wanna know for, anyway? Tell me that!”

He was getting seriously disgruntled by now. “I thought I was your friend, that’s all! Why wouldn’t you tell a friend?”

“Sounds like he doesn’ need to be told!” Colin retorted, with a bright sharp flash of those dark blue eyes. “Already figured it out, didn’ he?”

Bradley took a breath. And then another. All right, so the answer was yes. Gay, fully gay, bisexual, whatever. Colin was that, and now they both knew it for sure. 

The righteous anger was ebbing away almost as if Colin couldn’t help himself, now that the truth had, in effect, been told. Bradley searched the man’s face for the slightest hint of mercy, and eventually found a touch of warmth, a crack of humour. That was enough.

“I wanted to know,” Bradley said in low tones that Colin must lean in closer to hear – “I wanted to know because I’m a bit gay, too. There’s a bit of me that’s gay. And I want –”

Colin was trying to repress a grin by now, though it was a fairly bitter one. “No, you’re not, Bradley, you great eejit.”

The affront sliced across his heart. “What?! Yes, I am! Who the hell are you to say –”

“It’s all right,” Colin said easily, tilting his head in closer as if to underline the reassurance. “You’re just – a very empathetic guy. You have – negative capability, you know? You have an imagination.” Colin harrumphed a laugh. “All good things for an actor, Bradley.”

“But –”

“Take it as a compliment,” Colin suggested.

Bradley stared at him hard. And then demanded, “Just where do you get off, telling me who I am?”

Colin looked away, and shrugged. 

“Take me back to your place,” Bradley said. He’d deliberately chosen this particular pub as a meeting place, only a ten-minute walk from Colin’s flat, in the vague hopes that – 

“Gonna prove it to me, are you?” Colin scoffed. 

“Yes.”

Perhaps it was Bradley’s decisive tone, but this finally seemed to pierce Colin’s armour. The man glanced at him with turbulent blue eyes, and then looked away again. A moment later, without a word, he was standing, and he started walking out – indicating with a jerk of his chin that Bradley should join him. 

Bradley followed with alacrity, and they walked side by side in silence down one road and then another, and up three flights of stairs, until at last they were at Colin’s front door.

Colin unlocked the door with an intent little frown on his face, let Bradley in and then deliberately closed it and locked out the world. He flicked on a light switch for the living room – but that still left the two of them in dim shadows, caught in this corner of the hallway, uncertain of the way ahead. 

Bradley was just about to ask – when Colin was suddenly _right there_ in his space, his fingers digging painfully into Bradley’s arms just above the elbow, and his mouth crushed hard against Bradley’s in what should have been a kiss … their first kiss …

His heart hammered deep in his chest, and then grew warm, and grew, and just … just _flowed_ out to the other man – and in that moment Bradley had never felt so sure of anything in all his life. 

There was no returning the pressure of that kiss, not without risking some kind of mutual damage, so Bradley simply lifted his hands to lie gently against Colin’s waist, and he shifted his head back just far enough to be able to murmur, “Hey … hey, there’s no hurry, is there?”

Colin shifted back a little, too, and considered Bradley carefully. His fingers eased their grip a little. He didn’t say anything, and his expression remained enigmatic, but his fingers flexed and the grip became something more like a hold. 

Bradley figured that was as much permission as he could expect for now, so he lifted his hands as far as he could without dislodging Colin’s hands, and Bradley caressed Colin’s throat, his jaw, his shoulders … Colin gradually relaxed a little further, so Bradley slowly leaned closer again, and pressed a gentler kiss to Colin’s lips. 

A surprised kind of wordless grumble rumbled through one of them, or both, and then the kiss deepened, grew wild, and they grabbed each other up, pressed together from top to toe as if there’d never be any getting close enough. 

It was obvious that Colin was as excited as Bradley was, so when the kiss broke with a gasp, Bradley did not hesitate to ask, in just the clumsiest most urgent way possible, “Would you – Can we – go to bed? Take me to your bed. I want to –”

But, “No,” Colin replied, breathless, and his gaze roving over Bradley as if there were no part of him that could ever get enough of Bradley James. “Not yet. Not bed.”

Bradley groaned in disappointment, though he wasn’t going to force the issue. “You still need me to prove myself?” he muttered, almost to himself. 

“Come through here,” Colin said, taking Bradley’s hand to lead him through into the living room. 

And soon they were holding each other close on the lounge, and kissing like crazed things again, and when Bradley shifted to lie back along the seat he brought Colin with him, to feel his weight crushing him, to feel his hardness thrusting against his thigh through their jeans, as if Colin just couldn’t help himself after all. 

Soon Colin was coming, moans and incoherencies falling from those beautiful parted lips, and Bradley gazing up at him with adoration in his heart.

Colin lay down once he was done, shifting halfway off to one side – Bradley almost voiced a protest, but then Colin’s hand was shaping itself to Bradley’s cock though the denim, and beginning to rub with just the right pressure, just the right rhythm – and then Bradley was shouting in the joy of it, the relief of it, and then whispering, “Colin, oh god, _Col_.”

They just lay there together for a while, heavily entangled, and neither moved despite the growing discomfort. 

Eventually Bradley sighed in satisfaction, and then asked hopefully, “Bed next time?”

Colin sketched a minimal shrug. “Dunno.” But he offered a friendly smile to soften the blow. 

“Too many clothes,” Bradley explained, lifting a hand to indicate the problem.

Colin’s smile turned enigmatic. “You wanted sex, you got sex.”

Bradley considered this for a moment or two, while letting his hand fall to the nearest bit of Colin it could find. “And it was good,” Bradley said. “Very good. But what if I wanted to get naked with you?”

Colin just returned his querying gaze, providing no further answers or prompts. God, he looked so utterly beautiful though, all post-coital like this. All messy and mellow.

Bradley stumbled his way to a conclusion. He was at least perceptive enough to do that. “Love,” he dared to say. “If I wanted love …”

The smile turned uncomplicatedly happy – such a rare thing to see on Colin Morgan, and all the more gorgeous for it. “Then,” said Colin, “you’d get the plain, unvarnished – undressed – me.”

And that sounded like the very best thing in all the world … “That’s what I want,” Bradley said, his voice raw and breaking and coming from the depths of him. “I want your love.”

“ _Mmm_ …” Colin rumbled low in his throat, shifting impossibly closer to start pressing his lips to Bradley’s face and throat. 

“I love,” Bradley continued, “and I want –”

“Love,” Colin agreed. And all was revealed between them at last.

♦

♦


End file.
